Written by Lee Stevenson. Sorry I am a lousy editor.
Neglecting any aspect of our lives opens the door for those who are controlling to seize control of any aspect of our lives, whether it is bodily neglect, neglect in life’s responsibilities they will use this as proof you cannot take care of yourself and use it to put themselves in a position of power over you. They will try and use mistakes you have made to make you look like you have been neglectful.
Excessive rebellion can be used to demonstrate you are out of control or cannot be trusted. When you do not agree with something do it in a respectful and appropriate way because whether it is someone close to us or an authority figure if we are overly rebellious it can be used to show why someone has to control our lives.
Giving your word then failing to keep it or failing to fulfill obligation is used by controlling people to show that you cannot be trust to take care of your own life. It is best not to make promises or take on responsibilities unless you are certain you can fulfill them.
Asking for help too often especially when it may not be needed can give controllers a position of power or authority over you because because they can use this to show you cannot resolve problems yourself or you lack the ability to reason things out and trouble shoot problems so need someone to do it for you. Try and solve things yourself and weigh your options when possible before seeking help.
Being afraid to make mistakes and being afraid to admit when you do make mistakes. Being afraid to make mistakes prevents you from trying. This also prevents you from learning. The fact your knowledge does not increase can cause you to make the same errors over and over which can be used to show you need controlled. If you are trying then you will make mistakes. Not admitting when you do make mistakes can be used to show you do not hold yourself accountable.
Controllers will try to get you to over extend yourself. If they think they are losing control of you they will keep trying to get you to take on more and more responsibility so they can overwhelm you and make it look like you are losing control of your life. So be careful about when you say yes to things or when someone is trying to push more responsibilities on you.
We need to be aware of our emotions and acknowledge them and think about how we will respond to them. If we are uncertain we will repress them and not express them. This give controllers the opportunity to use your silence to make it appear you are in agreement with them which makes you comply out of the desire to not cause friction.
Some people are insecure and not aware they want to be controlled. Those who want to be controlled seek out people in positions of authority and power. They become uncomfortable around those who expect them to make their own decisions and think for themselves.
Not having clear lines especially in principles, and values. Our principles and values reflect who we are as a person. This can indicate to a controlling person they can control you by telling you what to believe or how you should be. This also involves being aware of what we feel and how we feel about things. Any doubt can be used by controllers to impose their will on you. So in areas of doubt we need to do thorough research to know where we stand.
Controlling people try to keep you on your guard by frequently accusing you of things whether true or not, they will frequently throw your short comings in your face. By facing our short comings and trying our best to overcome them we take that power away from them. If you point out their short comings they get defensive and angry and will attack you.
Fear and anxiety is used to control people. They will exaggerate dangers to induce fear and anxiety and even lie about the dangers of things. The pharmaceutical industry, governments and biotech industries have used false fears for years to get people to buy their products and do their will. When a person feel fear they lose the ability to reason and think logically because adrenal hormone levels rise which puts a person in a state of fight or flight. This makes them open to suggestions because they feel unsafe and want the security. Then the controllers will offer hope even if it is false hope and people readily accept what they are being told as being true or as their way of being safe or protected. Often times they are being put in an even worse situation.
Controlling people will use repetition to get people to do their will many studies have shown that if something is stated enough times people will start to believe it. They do this to manipulate people around you putting you in a position of being vulnerable to their will.
If you are meeting a controller for the first time they will try to get you to meet them in an area that you do not have resources to seek help and it is usually one familiar to them whether it is their office, car, private location. They prefer not to meet in a public place because they cannot control all those around them so cannot control the situation to put themselves in a position of power of someone.
Controllers will let you speak while pretending to be interested in you. They do this to try and find your likes and dislikes and find your weakness to manipulate you into a position of being vulnerable to their control. If you try to get them to talk about themselves they will change the subject and try to get you to talk more about yourself, or they will evade questions about themselves. Sometimes they will not answer the question you ask but will answer one not even ask.
Controlling people will turn the tables when they are wrong and try and make it appear that they are the victim and not you. They distort the facts so they can gain the support of those around you.
Controlling people will overwhelm others with data, facts and statistics to convince others of their points knowing this will overwhelm peoples mind and cause them doubt so they believe the controller instead of the victim being controlled. They do this so they can push their agenda.
Controllers will try to add unexpected negative information information to add to your mental burden or stress . Or they will try to increase your responsibilities to overwhelm your mind which will make decision making harder. They can use the inability to make decisions from being overwhelmed to convince others your life needs controlled.
Controlling people try to make you decide things very quickly without giving you time to reflect on it or to learn more. They will apply pressure and make things tense in order to inhibit your ability to reason so they can direct you to the decision they want you to make. An example of this is car sales man. They will pretend like a vehicle is on sale but if you do not buy the vehicle now then the sale will end and you will pay much more later.
Controlling people will poke fun of your weaknesses or short comings while playing down their own. They will try to make you look bad in others eyes. But if their short coming is pointed out they will try to make it look like you are just attacking them or just being critical.
Controllers try to convince people they are vulnerable and need their protection and then they will convince them that they can protect them.